Childrens Book Review I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum

Cover Art Courtesy of Franklin Street Gallery Productions

The topic of adoption often just pops up with kids throughout the course of a day. It's usually not a conversation that a parent purposely plans, even though they may want it that way. I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum is a beautifully illustrated book that does not have a strong adoption theme, but the topic is thoughtfully woven into the story. The book shows a mother and daughter spending the day together doing fun activities, and eventually getting ready for bed. As the daughter learns about her grandmother, she asks about her birth mother.

I highly recommend I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum. It highlights a beautiful mother daughter relationship and the normalcy of adoption talk between a parent and a child.

Have you read I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum? What do you think?

The Tragedy and Loss of Charlie and Braden Powell

I watched 20/20 Friday night. The episode was entitled, Sins of the Father, and explored the Joshua Powell tragedy. I wanted to understand how this could have happened - two little boys murdered, house burned down, social worker locked outside - helpless. I still don't understand, but I do have a few opinions on the case. Take a moment and share your concerns and opinions.

Suggested Reading:
Things We Can Learn from the Joshua Powell Tragedy
The Susan Cox Powell Case
What Are the Steps to Family Reunification within the Foster Care System?
Building an Effective Partnership Between a Case Worker and a Foster Parent
Understanding Each Role within a Foster Care Agency
Understanding Each Role within the Court System

Jennifer Lopez Open to Adoption Thanks to New Movie

According to an interview with Access Hollywood Jennifer Lopez recently shared that she is now interested in exploring adoption thanks to her role in the new movie, What to Expect When You're Expecting. Lopez plays a woman who is experiencing infertility issues, so she and her husband turn to adoption. The movie follows the couple on their adoption journey as they finally adopt from Ethiopia. Lopez was able to interact not only with the Ethiopian born twins playing the role of her son, but also with the adoptive parents. She admits that adoption is something she never considered before, but now can see how easy it is to love a child that is not biologically your own.

Lopez is already a mom to 4-year-old twins Max and Emme with ex-husband Marc Anthony.

What to Expect When You're Expecting is due out in theaters May 18.

Read the update on Jennifer Lopez's statements on adoption - seems she was misquoted.

SOURCES:
Jennifer Lopez: Filming 'What To Expect...' Opened Me Up To Adoption - Access Hollywood
Jennifer Lopez talks adoption

Dr Seuss for Foster or Adopted Children and Parents

I love Dr. Seuss! Horton Hatches the Egg is my all time favorite Dr. Seuss book. Of course I also like The Cat in the Hat or Green Eggs and Ham, but nothing gets to me like the character, Horton. Probably because he has such great character. When I read Horton Hatches the Egg I can't help but think of this as a perfect foster parenting story.

Horton takes care of an egg for a bird who is tired of sitting and waiting for the egg to hatch. She goes off and has a great time, while Horton sits on the egg through all kinds of weather and hardships. Then when all the hard work is over the bird comes back for the egg. When the egg hatches we see that the baby bird has some elephant features like Horton. He made a lasting impact on the baby bird. I love that.

The other Dr. Seuss book I'd recommend for foster or adoptive parents would be, Oh, the Places You'll Go!. Elizabeth Kennedy, About.com Children's Book Guide, says, "It's an inspirational book that provides an uplifting sendoff in Dr. Seuss style for people entering a new phase in their lives, but Dr. Seuss also points out that there will be difficult times as well as good times." I think that this is an appropriate message for some children as they transition between foster homes or even into a new adoptive home.

What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Which ones do you think are best for foster or adoptive children or parents?

National Association of Social Workers Announce Media Award Winners

Congratulations to both Adoption Today and Fostering Families Today as they were recently awarded the 2012 National Association of Social Workers Media Award for the magazine category. Adoption Today was founded in 1998 by adoptive parent Richard Fischer when he felt that there was a true need for reliable and realistic information for adoptive families. Fostering Families Today was published a few years later when Fischer saw the need for reliable information for fostering families caring for children who have suffered abuse and neglect.

Adoption Today and Fostering Families Today are published in Windsor, Colorado and Fischer remains at the head of both publications. Kim Phagan-Hansel has served as editor of the publications for the past ten years. She just recently released the new book, The Foster Parenting Toolbox with publisher EMK.

For more information about Adoption Today or Fostering Families Today, visit www.adoptinfo.net or call 888-924-6736.

The National Association of Social Workers Media Award other categories include: documentaries, feature film, TV news program, TV program/entertainment, newspaper article, column, radio, single topic blog, and website. The NASW looks to "honor media professionals who help raise awareness about social work and social work issues." More than 750 social workers and other professionals voted according to the Social Workers Speak website.

Other winners included:

• From Place to Place, a documentary that explores the lives of teens in Montana that aged out of the system.

• Change of Plans, a made-for-television family movie that aired Jan. 8, 2011, on Fox. The film was about a social worker that helped a couple adopt.

• Talk Therapy TV, a New York City public access television show created by NASW member Jacob Berelowitz where he educates the public about mental illness.

• Grey's Anatomy, Not Responsible episode, which aired Feb. 24, 2011, on ABC. Where character Dr. Phil Stark (actor Peter MacNichol) spoke positively of social workers.

• A Day of Pride for Once Homeless FIU Grad, a Miami Herald article by reporter Adam Beasley, where he reported on a former drug addict who went on to get his Master's degree in social work.

• Huffington Post columnist Ilaina Edison wrote about the need for more social workers to serve America's increasingly aging population.

• National Public Radio host Steve Inskeep in Washington, D.C. honored social worker and Congressional aide Gabe Zimmerman, MSW, who was killed in the January 2011, Tucson shootings.

• The Nation's "This Week in Poverty" blog by Greg Kaufmann covers numerous issues of importance to the field of social work.

• Social Work Podcast (www.socialworkpodcast.blogspot.com) hosted by social worker Jonathan Singer, an assistant professor at Temple University, interviews social workers and covers important issues to the social work field.

Childrens Adoption Book About Open Adoption Megans Birthday Tree

This is one children's book that about makes me cry every time I read it. The illustrations are beautiful and capture a child's many emotions. The story itself is just as beautiful. Megan's Birthday Tree is about a child who is clearly bonded to her adoptive family and goes to them for reassurance and support, yet is grounded by a child's simple understanding of her history. This book demonstrates what an open adoption could do for a child's sense of identity.

If you have opened a closed adoption, especially a foster care adoption, click "comments" below and share your experiences or about your process.

So, what is open adoption to you? Are you part of an open adoption - either as a birth parent, an adoptive parent, or adoptee? Bring your experiences, good and bad to the forum and we'll all get a chance to see open adoption from a different perspective. The forum discussion has been on-going for a couple of years and has numerous posts. Check it out.

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Suggested Reading:

• All About Open Adoptions
• All About Open Adoption for Birth and Placing Parents
• All About Open Adoptions for Adoptive Parents
• Why Choose an Open Adoption? - The Pros and Cons

Jillian Michaels and Partner Blessed Twice this Month

After waiting for two years to become a mom, Jillian Michaels was blessed twice in the same week. Her partner, Heidi Rhoades, gave birth to their son, Phoenix, on May 3 and only four days later, Michaels was on a plane to Haiti to pick up their two-year-old daughter, Lukensia.

Michaels started the adoption process as part of a pilot program for adoptions from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but when it was time to update year-old paperwork, she decided to make the switch to adopting from Haiti.

Michaels, 38, will legally adopt Phoenix and Rhoades, 31, will legally adopt Lukensia.

Suggested Reading:
Gay Adoption Basics

SOURCES:
Jillian Michaels: Adoption Is a Calling
Jillian Michaels: Watching Heidi In Labor Was 'Awful'
Jillian Michaels Adopts Haitian Girl, Partner Has Baby Boy

Intercountry Adoption Updates for Russia and South Africa

According to the Department of State there are a few interesting updates for Russia and South Africa.

Russia - It's been almost a full year, but the agreement that was signed on July 13, 2011, by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, has finally been approved by the Russian Duma. Once approved by the Russian Parliament and signed by President Putin, the United States and Russia will then discuss how to best implement the agreement.

South Africa - Bethany Christian Services and Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children have been approved as Accredited Adoption Service Provider's or ASPs for adoptions from South Africa and are now accepting applications from prospective adoptive parents. South Africa is a member of the Hague Convention of Intercountry Adoptions.

Country Stars Child to Remain in Foster Care

Last Wednesday, a Florida judge ruled that the jurisdiction over the custody battle for country singer Mindy McCready's son will remain in Florida. The child, five-year-old Zander, will remain in an Arkansas foster home where reports state he is thriving, attending school and in counseling. Zander's father, grandmother, and McCready are all battling for custody. Gayle Inge, Mindy's mother, who was awarded custody of Zander back in 2007, and Billy McKnight, Zander's father, all reside in Florida. McCready took Zander from Florida last November and ran to Arkansas.

I couldn't imagine being the foster parent in this type of a situation, where a birth parent is a well known singer. I have worked with high profile cases, but this seems like a lot to handle. Have you ever fostered a high profile case? Hows did you handle the stress?

Suggested Reading:

• Handling the Media Coverage of Child Abuse Cases

SOURCES:
Mindy McCready's Son to Be Kept in Foster Care
Mindy McCready's Son to Remain in Arkansas During Custody Battle

While Planning Your Summer Vacation Keep Expectations Realistic

We have been blessed with the opportunity to enjoy yearly vacations. We have enjoyed taking our children white water rafting in Colorado, visiting friends in Utah, and Disney World in Florida. We've taken trips to visit grandparents in Missouri and weekend trips to amusement parks in Oklahoma and Texas. Every time we venture out we take all of our children with us, whether they are our birth, adopted or foster children.

While many foster parents insist on taking foster children with them on the road, others insist on utilizing respite. There are pros and cons to both sides of the argument. What do you think on the subject?

Suggested Reading:

• Should You Take a Foster Child with You on Family Vacation?
• Foster Family Vacation Planning Checklist
• The Pros of Including Foster Children in Your Family Vacation Plans
• How did you successfully include a foster child on your family vacation?

May Is National Foster Care Awareness Month

This month, all over the country, different foster care agencies celebrate and honor foster parents, but there is a larger goal: to motivate more Americans to step up and help the over 400,000 children in foster care.

There is always a need for more foster parents, especially since many foster parents adopt the children placed in their home if they are unable to return to birth parents. This means agencies are losing beds in which to place future foster children.

If you have ever considered fostering, May is the perfect month to check it out. See what advice those who are already fostering want those considering foster parenting to know? Don't want to give advice? Share your feelings - What does foster parenting mean to you?

If you are already a foster parent, check out this ecourse on how to be a Great Foster Parent.

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Related Reading:
All About Foster Care Awareness Month
The History of National Foster Care Month
Daily Activities to Celebrate National Foster Care Month
Foster Care 101

Actress Charlize Theron Adopts a Baby Boy

36-year old actress Charlize Theron has adopted a baby boy named Jackson who is currently four-months old. The announcement was made Wednesday. There are not many details available at this time. Theron won an Academy Award for her role as serial killer Aileen Wuornos in 2003's "Monster." She was also nominated for a 2005 Academy Award for her work "North Country."

SOURCES:
Charlize Theron takes on role of motherhood with adoption of baby boy
Charlize Theron Says Swaddling's 'Pretty Amazing'

Share Your Foster and Adoptive Parent Summertime Knowledge

I would really enjoy reading more of your thoughts on a couple of issues, because I believe that when it comes to foster parenting and adoptive parenting, the expertise is with those who are living it. Since we are in the middle of summer break, I wonder How did you successfully include a foster child on your family vacations?.

Summer also means that the kids are home with parents all day! So, with that often comes kids fighting. How do you handle your foster or adopted children when the fighting begins? How do you handle sibling rivalry?

Summertime sometimes means opportunities for sleepovers for children, but sometimes foster and adopted children have issues due to abuse and neglect. These issues may prevent them from enjoying sleepovers like other children.

What summertime issues do you deal with in your foster or adoptive home? Please share any and all ideas - or issues that you are struggling with.

Suggested Reading:

• Should You Take a Foster Child with You on Family Vacation?
• Pros of Including Foster Children in Your Family Vacation Plans
• Tips to Help Foster or Adopted Children Participate in Sleepovers Successfully
• 10 Things to Do When Foster Kids Fight

Andy Griffith Was an Adoptive Parent

I was very sad to learn of the passing of Andy Griffith. I loved him as sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry and thought it was very sweet when he was a part of the Brad Paisley's video, Waitin' on a Woman. I decided to read some online biographies about Griffith and was surprised to learn that he was an adoptive father. He and his first wife adopted two children. I had no idea!

Who are your favorite famous adoptive parents? Click "comments" below and share.

Suggested Reading:
Profile of Andy Griffith

Breaking News Jerry Sandusky Found Guilty

The news seems to be on every channel - Jerry Sandusky was found guilty of 45 of the 48 charges against him relating to sex abuse of young boys. Back in November, we learned of Jerry Sandusky's abuse of children while serving as an assistant football coach for Penn State under Head Coach, Joe Paterno. It was discovered that he even abused the young boys in the football locker room of Penn State. Sandusky met the boys through a charity he founded for underprivileged youth, The Second Mile

Sandusky may spend the rest of his life in prison. I'll report more as I learn more.

I'm very happy that he has been charged and the children that have been abused were finally heard.

How do you feel about the verdict? Please share your thoughts.

Foster Parent Appreciation Month

I just got the official invitation for our foster care agencies foster parent appreciation celebration. This year it is being held at the Tanganyika Wildlife Park. We get to tour the part, and then enjoy a late lunch and an appreciation ceremony. I have always wanted to visit this zoo, so I'm pretty excited!

In the past, foster care agencies have done a picnic as well as little gifts for their foster parents. One year at a picnic we received a nice mug filled with Hershey Kisses and a DVD about the foster care program, so that we could bring more families into foster care. What a nice surprise!

A note to foster care agencies and workers - there are things that foster parents need from you besides trips to the zoo and chocolate. Though, we do love both. Here are 11 ideas on how to maintain foster homes.

What has your agency done for you?

Suggested Reading:
Foster Family Gift Ideas
11 Ways a Foster Care Agency Can Maintain Foster Homes
Is it Time to Change Your Foster Care Agency or Adoption Agency?

Cute Gifts Inspired by Easter or Spring

It's spring break here and after weeks and weeks of awesome weather it is now pouring down rain. Of course it is. So, what better time than now to create some cute handmade gifts with the kids?

Most moms love the handmade stuff the best when it comes to gifts from kids. Stumped as to what to give or create? Consider the following cute Easter or Spring inspired art projects that you and the kids can easily do in just an hour.

These ideas would be perfect for a birthmom, or any member of a birth family, in a foster or adoptive situation.

• Hand Print Hearts
• Hand Print Lilies
• Foot Print Chicks
• Hand Print Flowers
• Bigger Hand Print Flower With Child's Photo

Suggested Reading:
Great Foster Parents Work with Birth Family to Aid Reunification

New Articles for January 2012

I've been finding the presidential race interesting, and as always there is drama. Of course, each of the Republican candidates have a different stance on gay adoption, abortion, and other adoption issues.

Tax season is coming up and there was a lot to update, including listing the changes in the adoption tax credit for 2011.

I also updated some international adoption statistics as well as a new article explaining Form I-604, utilized in non-Hague convention adoptions.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• Jon Huntsman Is an Adoptive Parent
• 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates and Adoption Issues
• How Has the Adoption Tax Credit Changed for 2011?
• Defining Special Needs and Eligibility for the Adoption Tax Credit
• Claiming the 2011 Adoption Tax Credit
• What Are Considered Qualified Adoption Expenses?
• What Were the Top 20 Countries Being Adopted from in 2011?
• Form I-604, Determination on Child for Adoption

Taking a Break from Fostering

My family is taking a break from taking placements this summer, not only because we are moving to a new community, but to assess if we want to continue on as foster parents. It's also a good time to spend time, strengthening our relationships as we begin this new adventure together.

We have been foster and adoptive parents for fifteen years. Our daughter was only two months old when our first foster daughter moved into our home. Knowing when to take a break, to keep from burning out as a care giver, is an important foster parenting skill.

I don't know if we'll end up closing our foster care license, but I do know that for now, we'll be focusing on what is best for our daughter and our family.

Recommended Reading:
Strong Foster Families Know When to Stop

New Articles for February 2012

As usual, whatever is happening in the news directs what I write about and add to About Foster Care and Adoption. I had no idea that one of the celebrities nominated for best actresses, Viola Davis, is an adoptive mother.

I too was very upset and sick over the tragedy that took the lives of three people, including two innocent children. When I heard one social worker, during an interview with Chris Cuomo of 20/20, mention that the visits continued due to the goals outlined in the case plan for the Joshua Powell family, I knew I had to express my thoughts.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• What Is a Case Plan?
• What Is the Child Citizenship Act of 2000?
• What Were the Top 20 Countries Being Adopted from in 2010?
• Wendy's Wonderful Kids
• What Is the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption?
• Viola Davis Is an Adoptive Mother
• Things We Can Learn from the Joshua Powell Tragedy
• How to Complete an Ethiopian Adoption

New Articles for May 2012

This month meant finishing up a new e-course about strengthening foster families. I also profiled a book about foster care, a country singer, and a man who aged out of foster care and created his own magazine. Foster Care Awareness Month has been a great month! I hope you are ready for a fun summer, I know I am.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• Week 3: Strong Foster Families Are Wise in the Business of Foster Care
• Week 4: Strong Foster Families Know When to Stop
• Book Review: W.I.S.E. Up Powerbook For Children in Foster Care
• The Right Choice for a Baby Boy - An Adoption Poem
• Chris Chmielewski
• Jimmy Wayne Is a Famous Foster Kid
• Adoption Search Angel of Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
• Adoption Search Angel for South Carolina Area

New Articles for March 2012

It's a mix of everything this month with profiles on two famous adoptees - Wendy's founder, Dave Thomas and Snooki, of Jersey Shore fame. Never did I think those two names would be mentioned in the same sentence.

We also discuss a bit about what foster care and the changes to expect in your home and family when fostering and highlight a new foster care magazine.

Prepare for Easter with ideas for Russian adoptees and for Mother's Day with a beautiful new poem, Mother, and an equally beautiful children's book, I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• Dave Thomas - The Founder of Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers Restaurant
• How Does Providing Foster Care Affect Children in Your Home?
• How Will Fostering a Child Impact My Daily Life?
• Adoption Poem: Mother
• 7 Russian Easter Traditions to Share with Your Children
• Children's Book Review: I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum
• Foster Focus Magazine
• Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi Is a Famous Adoptee

Do You Know Dave Pelzer

One of the most read pages on this site is the book review for Dave Pelzer's A Child Called 'It'. Written from the perspective of a child, A Child Called 'It' offers a chance to see how an abused child may perceive the treatment of an abusive mother. Even though the child abuse that Dave Pelzer endured effected David's self-worth; Dave still had this incredible will to not only survive, but to rise above it all.

This is one book I recommend to those interested in fostering or adopting a child, especially a child who has endured abuse. One main misconception about children in foster care is that they will be grateful to escape the abuse and the abuser. Even after everything Dave Pelzer went through with his abusive mother, he would still, after being placed in a foster home, ride his bicycle by his mother's house in the hopes of getting a glimpse of her. It is amazing, but also understandable to a point. No matter what has occurred, your parents are your parents.

Dave Pelzer entered the foster care system at age 12. He endured 5 different foster homes before aging out of the system at age 18. He went on to become an accomplished author, with his first book, A Child Called 'It', which details the story of the horrible abuse and neglect he suffered at the hand of his mother. But despite his world renowned books, speaking engagements, and documentation from teachers and social workers who worked with him as a youth, there are some who question the validity of his story.

What is your reaction to Dave Pelzer's life story? Share your thoughts by clicking here.

Suggested Reading:
Book Review: A Child Called "It"
Book Review: The Lost Boy The Inspiring Sequel to "A Child Called 'It'"
Dave Pelzer Is a Famous Foster Kid
How Do You Feel About Dave Pelzer's Life Story?

New Articles for June 2012

This month I decided to focus a bit on what we will need to know about this fall - school bullies. So, I did a bit of research and was stunned to learn that the characteristics that describe a child who is likely to be bullied could also easily describe a foster child. The same is true for the factors that could cause a child to become a bully. These same factors impact many foster children. I also got back to basics and outlined the basics of foster care and wrote about the foster care licensing procedure.

As always, if there is anything you would like to see me cover - please let me know.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• What Is a Foster Care License?
• Foster Care Basics: The Top Questions Answered Concerning Foster Care
• School Bullying and Foster Children
• What to Do When You Think Your Foster or Adopted Child Is a Bully
• Help a Foster Child Move with Dignity with a Fun Decorated Tote
• Grant Profile: Helpusadopt.org
• State Profile: Adoption in Montana
• State Profile: Adoption in Nevada

Foster Parenting and Written Documentation

Many foster parents are surprised by the amount of paperwork foster parents are asked to maintain. We keep a child's medical forms, write daily or monthly logs depending on the agency's needs and specifications, and log mileage and medication We also are asked to write court reports.

This written documentation is so important yet, I feel that it is often overlooked in the training of foster parents. Since I'm so passionate about this topic I decided to create a e-course for foster parents to help improve the skill of documentation. Note: I feel that it's important for adoptive parents to continue with documentation even after the finalization of an adoption. I explain why in the e-course.

There are two ways to take the e-course, you can start at day one and follow through with the day to day links by visiting the index, or sign up for 3 daily email lessons.

Do you document daily, weekly, monthly, or not at all in your foster or adoptive home? If you do, please share how it has helped your child or family?

Hero Movie Brings Out Bullies

When I became the Guide here on About Adoption and Foster Care, I came at the topic very one sided and with only one point of view - that of an adoptive parent. Thankfully that didn't last as I was schooled by members of the forum, where I quickly learned that the adoption community consisted of adoptees, birth parents, as well as the adoptive parents. They each had a story to tell, and each adoption story was different. I am very thankful for that education, because now I can more clearly see both sides of an adoption or foster care issue.

I learned the value of three simple words - walk, mile, shoes.

I learned that while I may not always agree with someone's point of view, I could still learn and grow from it. Their perspective was usually born out of heartache or an experience that is often very unique to members of the adoption community, a community that exists on a foundation of loss because all adoptions start with a loss.

I started the blog regarding The Avengers movie to hear the perspectives of members of the adoption community and was shocked at the ugliness of the comments. Fifty-two comments and fourteen were offended by the adoption comment in the movie and all fourteen were able to communicate their feelings without one ugly word. But there were thirty-eight readers who stated that they were not offended, and only seven of those thirty-eight were able to communicate their view point in a healthy manner.

I have to admit, if I watched the movie, I probably would have laughed at the comment, but would have also wondered how it would impact those who may have been distanced from family with such a comment, because it made someone else more comfortable to only claim them if it was known that they were NOT blood related. Yes, I understand the point of the comment, as I'm sure others who were hurt by it understood.

It's not a matter of adoptive parents not preparing children for the real world, or the lack of mental capacity, or the inability to take a joke, understand context, or even the need for therapy.

It's about the fact that some people in this world have been labeled based solely on their adoption status. If you are an adoptee and did not experience this hurt, I'm happy for you. I can tell you that there are many adoptees who do not feel the same way.

Should adoption be off limits to jokes? No. But I do believe that it should be okay for someone in the adoption community to explain their point of view without being verbally attacked and belittled. There is value in those three words - walk, mile, shoes.

New Articles for April 2012

I spent most of my time this month thinking about foster parents and foster families. You will see the beginnings of a new e-course, that will be completed in May. You will also find articles on what a foster family can do to become stronger and happier while providing foster care to children in need.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• How Not to Let Your Kids Get Lost in the Chaos of Foster Parenting
• Learn How to Be a Strong Foster Family in Four Weeks
• The Importance of Listening to Your Children Regarding Adding to Your Family
• Week 1: Strong Foster Families Work to Keep Relationships Strong
• Establishing Workable Boundaries as a Foster Family
• Week 2: Strong Foster Families Know How to Balance Foster Care and Life
• What Is a Voluntary Reunion Registry?
• What Is Meant by the Term 'Placement'?

Hollywood Adoptions Bonding Is Important

Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley - Katherine Heigl and husband, Josh Kelley, have recently shared that they are ready to start the adoption process again. The couple adopted their daughter, Naleigh, about three years ago from Korea. Heigl has also shared that she struggled a bit bonding with their daughter, while her husband and Naleigh clicked right away. Through an interview with Scholastic Parent & Child magazine she acknowledged the importance of being prepared to parent an adopted child and how the process of forming attachments take time, building trust takes time. I'm so glad to hear a celebrity opening talk about the bonding process that goes along with adopting a child and that parenting a child that is not biologically your own is different. Relationships take time to build.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt -Adopting more children is still an open topic within the Jolie-Pitt home. In an interview with the The Hollywood Reporter, Pitt stated that they are open to more children, but nothing is in the works at this time as they currently have a balance within their home. He also stated that if they met someone who needed them and they felt that they could help, they would be open to adopting again. I like how the focus seems to be on the child and what Jolie and Pitt could do to offer help, rather than on their own wants and needs. That's the way it should be, in a perfect world.

SOURCES:
Katherine Heigl - Heigl Keen To Adopt Again After Understanding Special Bond
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Are Open To Adopting More Kids

Suggested Reading:

• 10 Five Minute Bonding Activities for Foster and Adopted Children
• Preparing to Parent the Adopted Child
• Internationally Adopted Children Sometimes Suffer Same Challenges as US Children
• Adoption Book Review: The Post-Adoption Blues

Top 15 Topics of 2011

I have been taking a bit of time to look over the top topics for 2011. These are the articles and book reviews that readers of About Adoption & Foster Care have visited the most in 2011. I wonder what 2012 will bring in regards to hot topics?

1. Dave Pelzer It seems that once again anything related to Dave Pelzer is a hot topic. Not only was his profile a top topic of 2011, but so were his first two books: A Child Called 'It' and The Lost Boy

2. Gay Adoption and Gay Parenting Another hot topic for 2011 is all things pertaining to gay and lesbian adoption. Including statistics regarding gay families. Gay Adoption Basics and How Many Children Have Gay Parents in the US?

3. Black Hair Care How to care for the needs of African American and bi-racial children while in foster or adoptive homes is always an important issue and obviously on the minds of many parents in 2011. I know I used these resources several times this past year. Caring for Your African American or Biracial Child's Hair and Using the Wrong Products

4. Foster Care Basics The basics of foster care and the decision to become a foster parent were also top articles. Foster Care 101 and Should I Do Foster Care?

5. Single Parent Adoption Many were interested in single parent adoption and how to make it work in 2011. Single Parent Adoption and Women

6. Love Languages I know that I love the concept of parenting with love languages and it seems that I wasn't alone in 2011. How to Parent Adopted and Foster Children with the 5 Love Languages

7. Adoption Poems It always surprises me how many use poetry as a way to handle the emotional topic of adoption. Adoption Poems

8. Fatima Whitbread Olympian, Fatima Whitbread, was also very popular in search in 2011.Fatima Whitbread Is an Olympic Athlete and a Famous Adoptee

9. Deciding Whether to Adopt Information needed to begin the adoption process were also very popular topics for Adoption & Foster Care site in 2011. Before You Decide Adopting a Child Is for You and What Is an Adoption Home Study? and How Much Does an Adoption Cost?

10. Ways to Help Children in Foster Care In 2011, as readers decided that fostering was not for their family, they found other ways to help. 9 Ways to Help Children in Foster Care

11. Adoption Reunion Registries There was also a strong interest in understanding in reunion registries and a bit in adoption search with a confidential intermediary. An Adoption Registry Is A Way to Indicate Your Interest in a Reunion and Confidential Intermediary

12. Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption As international adoption continues to change each year, there was also a need to understand the Hague Convention. What Is the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption?

13. Bullying Adoptive and foster families are usually very unique in appearance and needs, this sometimes brings bullying. 4 Tips to Stop Bullying and Bias Before it Happens

14. Child Abuse Child abuse is a difficult topic to handle, but one that smart adoptive and foster parents need to explore. Child Abuse Risk Factors

15. Adoption Law by State Numerous readers were interested in the specific adoption law by state as each state handles adoption very differently. These laws include information on all aspects of adoption as well as adoption searches. Adoption Law by State

Happy Mothers Day

Getty Images / Mario Lalich

I have to agree with the popular saying, "Motherhood is not for wimps." I think it goes double for foster and adoptive mothers. It takes a special person to mother and nurture a child that is not your biological child.

Click "comments" below and share something special about your mom, whether she's your birth, adoptive, or foster mom. We would love to hear your comments.

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What Is an Adoptive Mother?
Adoption Stories - When We Became a Forever Family
You Know You're a Foster or Adoptive Mother When...
Adoption Poems for Adoptive Parents
Foster Care and Foster Care Adoption Poems

The Foster Parenting Toolbox

Cover art courtesy of EMK PRESS, The Foster Parenting Toolbox

March 2, 2012, brought the release of a new resource for foster families - The Foster Parenting Toolbox. Edited by Kim Phagan-Hansel, the editor of Fostering Families Today Magazine, The Foster Parenting Toolbox is a 464 page book that features more than 100 contributors, including yours truly. There are sixteen chapters with topics that include: Why Foster, Perspectives, Transitions, Teamwork, Birth Family Connections, Loss, Grief, and Anger; Attachment and Trust, Trauma and Abuse, Family Impact, Discipline, School Tools, Parenting Teens, Nurturing Identity, Allegations, Respite and Support, and Reunification, Adoption, and Beyond. The book also includes a resources list as well as an index. One of the best features is the quizzes at the end of the book, one quiz per chapter, that foster parents can turn in to their workers for CEUs!

This is not a book to sit down and just read - of course you can! I'd consider this more of a "go-to book". Have a question about how to handle a school situation - go to The Foster Parenting Toolbox. Want to figure out how to best prepare a child for a transition - whether it be to another foster home, adoption, or even a night of respite - go to The Foster Parenting Toolbox.

The Foster Parenting Toolbox
ISBN 9780972624466
EMK Press
Softcover
$29.95 USD

What books have you considered your best "go to" books?

April Is also National Poetry Month

I really enjoy poetry. Not just the reading of poems, but the writing of poetry as well. We have many talented readers who also enjoy writing adoption poems and many have shared adoption poems of their own. Some poems featured on the site have been written by adoptive parents, adoptees, or by birth family.

Have you written any poetry that you would like to share with our readers?
Perhaps during the search for birth family?
While parenting a foster child?
While deciding whether to place or parent a child for adoption?

If you have an adoption poem that you would like to share for possible publication, please submit it to About Adoption & Foster Care for review.

Suggested Reading:

• Adoption Poems by Readers
• Birth Mother Poems
• Mother - An adoption poem submitted recently.
• The Writing of Adoption Poems - Healing Words of Adoption Poetry

Today Is BirthMothers Day

It may not be well known to the rest of the world, but so some in the adoption community - today, the Saturday before Mother's Day, is Birthmother's Day. Here is a link to some poetry and other writings by birth or first mom's.

Most adoptions are a happy time for the adoptive family. Adoption is seemingly all about the adoptive parents and the child and what they have gained. Little thought is often given to the losses created by adoption.

By reading the words of these birth mothers I hope that we can begin to see and appreciate their feelings. Take some time this weekend to think about the women who have made us adoptive mothers mothers and what we or our children can do to honor and remember them.

Suggested Reading:

• Adoption Poems About Birth Mothers
• Once You've Decided That Adoption Is Right for Your Baby
• How to Open a Closed Adoption
• Preparing Your Child for an Open Adoption